Great questions from locals supporters! Please come by and join our community!
"Hey Steph. I'm married but sometimes I think I could have done better and then I overthink it. I question my choices, wonder if I made a mistake getting married and then feel guilt and shame as a result. I'm constantly rehashing these questions and it's torture. Can you shed some light on the path out of this cycle? We've been together over a decade, we have a one year old and I want to find peace."
"Is it always both parties fault when a marriage fails? What if a wife commits moral abuse? Refuses sex, refuses pulling her weight inside of the home, while the husband is dependable, reliable and good to his wife and family? What about incentives? A large percentage of marriage ends in divorce, while 70-90% of the time wives initiate the divorce. Almost 90% of custody goes to mothers, while 95% of the alimony payers are men. Coupled with double standards in society between men and women, is it fair to just say to the men that they chose wrong? Think about the restaurant workers during the pandemic, who found themselves in a position where they were earning more money with unemployment benefits and stimulus money compared to what they would earn if they returned to work. Even if they had the virtue of hard work, the incentives influenced them to stay home. Is it possible that a man can make a decent choice in who he marries, but the Overton window is working against his best interests? There is a proverb that says that telling lies is as harmful as hitting with a rock, wounding with a sword, or shooting with a sharp arrow. So my interpretation is, moral abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, verbal abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse. If a woman is struggling post relationship mentally with the fallout of a long term physically abuse relationship, would we be insensitive and tell her that she just chose wrong, and their must have been something that she did to contribute to the demise of the relationship. Is this an unreasonable set of questions to ask, or yet again, a failure to take personal responsibility?"
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